Doubt, Our Faithful Companion

Our faith journey can be somewhat circuitous. In fact, it is, more often than not, a very circuitous journey. We seldom, if ever, take the most direct route to God. Our path is winding and twisting. It sometimes leads us to dead-ends, and other times we journey for years only to find ourselves back in the exact place we started. The life of faith is not easy. It ebbs and flows. There are seasons of abundance and scarcity, times of nourishing rain, and devastating drought.

But what do we do in times of scarcity and want, confusion and doubt? Our beloved Nancy Hagner sent me a book by Brian D. McLaren, Faith after Doubt. A lifelong Christian, pastor, teacher, and author, McLaren noted that we don’t often know what to do when our faith seems to fail us. What do we do when suddenly we find ourselves questioning and doubting? What does it mean? What’s wrong with me? Is my faith not strong enough?

McLaren points out that doubt is an essential part of faith, “eventually, I came to realize that doubt was a companion, every bit as resilient and persistent as faith, and she wasn’t going away. I realized that she had some things to teach me, and I decided since I couldn’t shut her up or drive her away, I might as well learn from her. She’s turned out to be a tough but effective teacher and a difficult but faithful friend.”

Let’s face it, what we believe is hard to believe. Theologian Paul Tillich writes, “Doubt isn’t the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith … Sometimes I think it is my mission to bring faith to the faithless, and doubt to the faithful.” In our state of “blessed unrest,” we must allow ourselves the freedom to inquire, explore, and wrestle with our faith. I believe that the Holy Spirit is fully alive and at work in our doubts leading us to new and previously unexperienced and unexpected places on our journey, offering the possibility of growth and understanding on our way to greater spiritual maturity.

Forward we go, fellow sojourners, with honesty about what we believe and where we struggle and question and doubt, trusting fully that God is at work!

Peace and blessings,

The Rev. Paul Jeanes III, Rector

Getting Ready to Get Ready

It’s Shrovetide!

(Yes, that’s a real thing)

Dear friends,

Did you know that last Sunday began a season-within-a-season in this season of Epiphany? Gesimatide, or Shrovetide, began on February 5, the third Sunday before Ash Wednesday. That Sunday is called Septuagesima, from the Latin meaning “the seventieth.” The following two Sundays are Sexagesima and the majestically named Quinquagesima – marking very roughly 60 and 50 days respectively before Easter.

The 17 days of Shrovetide are a time of spiritual preparation for Lent, gently easing us from the joy and glory of Epiphany to the somber reality of Ash Wednesday. According to the First Council of Orleans in 511 AD, it was a time when “many pious ecclesiastics and lay persons of the primitive Church used to fast seventy days before Easter, and their fast was called, therefore, Septuagesima, a name which was afterwards retained to distinguish this Sunday from others.”

And while I’m not going to fast right now, and I’m not telling you to do so either, it is a good time to begin taking stock, to ask ourselves what God might be calling us to do, or not do, during Lent. I think it also fits in with the dullness of February, this time when we are waiting for the end of winter and the beginning of spring. We are getting ready to get ready, slowly taking stock of what we might need to make part of our spiritual spring-cleaning.

Join me these next 2 weeks in praying that God will help each one of us to get ready, so that we will be ready to enter into the reality of Lent together, and to prepare eventually for the great Paschal feast.

Yours in Christ,

The Rev. Cn. Dr. Kara Slade, Associate Rector

P.S., One of my favorite YouTube videos of all time is this piece on February by local St. Louis journalist Kevin Killeen. I hope it gives you a laugh too.

Oneness

Dear Good People of Trinity Church,

Julian of Norwich, a 14th-century mystic, is an iconic example of Christian mysticism's power and gift, transcending the confines of time and location. Hugh Hildesley writes in his book, Journeying with Julian, “It is my conviction that the reason Julian’s theology has recently acquired so much attention is that it speaks precisely to our time and that many of the pressures we face are remarkably similar to those … of the time and place in which Julian lived and wrote. Julian suggested the principal message and purpose which God has for us is love, a love that cannot be overcome by the powers of the world.” ¹

What, do you wish to know your Lord’s meeting in this thing? Know it well, love was his meaning. Who reveals it to you? Love. What did he reveal to you? Love. Why does he reveal it to you? For love.” ²

At the heart of Julian’s way of life is a desire for oneness with God, an ultimate and intimate connection with the Divine. She calls this oneing, “that all might be one as the Father and I are one.” (John 17:22) ³  Julian describes the oneness or spiritual marriage to be like “the rain falling from heaven into a river or stream, becoming one and the same liquid, so that the river and the rainwater cannot be divided; or it resembles a stream flowing into the ocean with cannot afterward be disunited from it.” ⁴

The church, she believes, plays an integral role in our quest for spiritual union with God. It may even be said that this is our “primary task…to enable broken human beings to be made whole in the love of God.” ⁵ This is at the core of the way of the Christian mystic, as Carl McColman writes, “What do Christian mystics tell us? That the wisdom they offer us can literally unite us with God – or at the very least, give us such a powerful experience of God’s presence that it can revolutionize our lives. The purpose of such transformed lives is not primarily to achieve a goal (like enlightenment or spiritual bliss) but rather to participate in the Holy Spirit’s ongoing activity – embodying the flowing love of Christ, love that we, in turn, give back to God as well as to ‘our neighbors as ourselves.’” ⁶

May we open ourselves to true oneness with the Divine so that we may more fully live into our call to participate in the Holy Spirit’s ongoing activity. Trusting always in God’s goodness and love that, All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.

Peace and Blessings,

The Rev. Paul Jeanes III, Rector

1. C. Hugh Hildesley, Journeying with Julian, p. 96

2. Hildesley, p. 96

3. Hildesley, p.163

4. Bernard McGinn, The Essential Writings of Christian Mysticism, p. 457

5. Hildesley, p.163

6. Carl McColman, The Big Book of Christian Mysticism, p.16

Rest

Recently, I took a trip to the Pacific coast of Canada to visit dear friends, a wonderful trip. The day I left I was at the airport at 5am, on the plane at 6am, and already for take-off, when we heard: “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain…“.

That day was January 11, the day that all the flights in the United States were grounded because of a computer glitch in a nationwide safety-critical system of the FAA. We got off the plane and waited. I decided the only thing I really could do was rest. Shortly thereafter we reboarded and were able to take-off, because Newark was one of the first airports to open when the system was up and running again.

It was good to see my friends and I did as much as I could, as quickly as I could, in as many places as I could, in the time that I had there. When the day came for me to return home, I was up at 5am and on the road in the dark to arrive at airport by 7am. By 9am, I was on board, settled in, and ready for my cross-country flight. And then we heard “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain…”.

The conveyer belt ramp which lifts and loads luggage onto the aircraft had been moved toward the plane too fast and too far, banging into it and damaging it. When does something like that ever happened!? We were informed it would be a minimum of two hours before a repair crew could arrive, and then we would see when we could take-off after that. Of course, there was the usual scramble for re-bookings, but I was fortunate to have already been re-booked: All I had to do was wait for 13 ½ hours to leave, at last, at 12am midnight.

It was actually a very nice day out. I was able to go for a walk, read a book, work on a sermon, and have a nap. When, at midnight, we finally boarded the plane, I learned why we had had a 13 ½ hour wait: the plane itself had been repaired hours before, but by the time the plane was ready to go, the crew had been on duty so long they were now mandated an eight hour rest. I felt impatient at that. I pondered that a moment, how I had to wait while they rested, and it occurred to me that, in our faith, in our scriptures, it is a commandment to rest.

Sabbath rest. And it is a commandment for a reason. It is crucial for the well-being and health of our minds, our bodies, and our souls, that we rest. Truly rest. In my experience lately, as we ramp up for the Spring Academic term, gear up to be fully functional as a community of faith post-Covid, that rest is not necessarily built in to everyone's plan. Surely, it cannot be that it is only among the flight crews of airlines that mandated rest is actually being honored!

Sabbath keeping is a religious practice, commanded by God for our well-being. But the Sabbath rest also has ethical implications that are part and parcel of God‘s commandment. Keeping Sabbath means providing rest not only for ourselves, but for other workers, and animals, and the land. Sabbath rest is a matter of honorable treatment and justice for all of creation. Sabbath rest gives time and gives space to the consideration of God’s genuine hope for the whole world.

Building a day of rest — or maybe just half of day if we need to start small, into the regular rhythm of our week-to-week lives takes planning, discipline, and the absolute conviction that it is the right thing to do. Our culture will tell you otherwise, but our God commands us to rest. There is a prayer in the prayer book, number 59 onn page 832, “For quiet confidence,“ and it is drawn directly from the Prophet Isaiah, 30:15. It reads:

Oh, God of peace, who has taught us that, in returning and rest, we shall be saved, in quietness and confidence shall be our strength: by the might of your spirit lift us, we pray, to your presence, where we may be still, and know that you are God; through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.

I commend this prayer to your use and I pray we shall all find a regular rhythm to rest in the presence of God and be rejuvenated for the times ahead.

Faithfully,

The Rev. Joanne Epply-Schmidt, Associate Rector

Thank You from the Rector

I want to offer my sincere and heartfelt thanks for your presence and prayers on the occasion of the 25th anniversary of my ordination to the priesthood. I was truly overwhelmed and touched by your gestures of love and support.

I simply cannot believe how fast the years have gone. It has been an honor and privilege to serve as a priest in God’s Church. At times, I have fallen woefully short of my ordination vows, God's desires, and my own expectations. Yet, God is always present, always faithful, always loving, and somehow, through most imperfect vessels, Good News is proclaimed.

Again, my dear friends, thank you! Forward in faith, we go!

Peace & blessings to all,

The Rev. Paul Jeanes, Rector

We’re All Part of the Body

Last week, our lectionary started treating us to a fortifying dose of reality. In our Epistle readings, we hear passages from First Corinthians, where Paul describes the complicated and frankly messy unity that the church receives in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We hear a letter that reveals just how quickly and just how easily groups of people can succumb to the divisions with which they have become accustomed — and more often than not, with which they feel a strange sort of comfort. Misery and bitterness can be comforting in a horribly addictive and toxic kind of way.

Just after the Hallmark season of Christ's birth, just after the season of warmth and togetherness, the lectionary presents us with this letter to a church that is at each other’s throats over which leader’s team they’re on: Team Paul, Team Apollos, or Team Cephas.

The platform where St. Paul was taken before the Roman governor.

Our own Sonia Waters recently returned from a trip to Corinth, and she took some wonderful pictures.

In response, Paul moves into one of his most well-known, memorable, and effective metaphors of Christian community: the image of the body. Being a member of the body of Christ, being part of the church, means being absolutely, out-and-out conjoined with one another, in the same unseverable way that one limb is joined to another. When we’re members of the same body, find that we cannot participate in division, because to do so is to dis-member ourselves, to cut parts of ourselves off. But neither can we participate in a crushing uniformity, without the joys of difference within that unity. Unity is not sameness.

Without the body, without our other limbs, without each other, we find ourselves cut off from who we truly are and we cannot live out our own calling. To be who we are called to be, we need everyone – we need all the members of the body – to live out your calling too. We are all connected. This year, as we walk forward together as the body of Christ in Trinity Church, I invite you to discern what your role in this body is and to participate in that body ever more deeply. We need you – each one of you – and we’re not complete without you.

Yours in Christ,

The Rev. Cn. Dr. Kara Slade, Associate Rector

Christian Mystics

Dear Beloved Ones,

I began to write this reflection on New Jersey transit as I made my way to the city for my last day of in-person classes for my Doctor of Ministry program at General Theological Seminary.  (But, there is much more work, writing, and research yet to be done!) It has been a wonderful week gathering with colleagues, our beloved Nancy Hagner being one of them, as we brought this part of our three-year journey to an end. What a gift it was!  We ended our time together with the same voices with which began our journey – Christian Mystics.  The wisdom of St. John of the Cross, Theresa of Avila, Catherine of Sienna, Francis of Assisi, Hildegard of Bingen, Thérése of Lisieux, Julian of Norwich, Meister Eckhart, and Bernard of Clairvaux to name only a few.

The task of Christian mysticism is “to point out to us how our view of the world, including ourselves, is limited and then to assist us in overcoming this limitation so we might see the world as God sees it.” ¹

Further stated, Carl McCorman notes:

Based on the witness of all great mystics over 2,000 years of Christian history, the message of mysticism can be reduced to a single paragraph:

God is love. God loves all of us and wants us to experience abundant life. This means abiding in love – love of God, and love of neighbors as ourselves.  Through prayer and worship, meditation and silence, we can commune with God, experience his presence, have our consciousness transformed by his Spirit, participate in his loving nature, and be healed and renewed in that love. This new life (what the New Testament calls “the mind of Christ”) will not only bring us joy and happiness (even when we suffer), but will also empower us to be ambassadors for God, to bring God’s love and joy and happiness to others. There is much work to be done, and the task is overwhelming, even our own need is very great, for we tend to resist God’s love, even as we hunger for it. Yet God continually call us back to his love and continually empowers us to face the challenge of bringing hope to our broken world. ²

We are in the midst of an important transitional period in the church and the world.  As we live into this new era, Christian Mysticism will be a key companion and guide as we find our place and purpose in the years to come. The Jesuit theologian Karl Rahner once said, “In the days ahead, you will either be a mystic (one who has experienced God for real) or nothing at all.” William Johnston writes in his book, Mystical Theology: The Science of Love, “Authentic Christian mysticism is nothing but a living Gospel at a deep level of consciousness.” He continues on to say, “The task of a modern mystical theology is to convince the world that the death and resurrection with Jesus, far from being irrelevant, is the ultimate solution to our overwhelming problems.” ³

Forward we go, fellow mystics “[t]here is much work to be done, and the task is overwhelming, even our own need is very great, for we tend to resist God’s love, even as we hunger for it. Yet God continually call us back to his love and continually empowers us to face the challenge of bringing hope to a broken world.” ⁴

Peace & Blessings on the Way,

The Rev. Paul Jeanes III, Rector

Thursday visit to the Church of St. Mary the Virgin for Confession and Noon Eucharist.

1. John R. Mabry, Growing into God: A Beginner’s Guide to Christian Mysticism, p. 56

2. Carl McCorman, The Big Book of Christian Mysticism, p. 66-67

3. William Johnston, Mystical Theology: The Science of Love, p.7

4. Carl McCorman, The Big Book of Christian Mysticism, p. 67

Beyond Resolutions: One Word

— BEYOND RESOLUTIONS —

If you’re like me, you come to January 1 every year with a fistful of good intentions. This year, I tell myself, I really will fix all my bad habits at once! And of course it never works. We all struggle with the ways that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, as St. Paul says. Or the ways that we do what we do not want to do - again, one of Paul’s struggles. The deformation of our will is part of our fallen nature. But at the same time, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for us to change. I invite you to read Curtis Hoberman’s article below, and to join me for the next two weeks in the Adult Forum as we talk about ways to grow in virtue and holiness of life in ways that go beyond the futility of New Year’s resolutions. I’ll see you then!

The Rev. Cn. Dr. Kara Slade, Associate Rector

— ONE WORD —

Curtis Hoberman

Forget resolutions. What is your one word for 2023?

What is the one word that will lead you, guide you. encourage you, and propel you for this year?

I was introduced to the idea of one word in an F3 workout in Philadelphia in late 2018, prior to the start of F3 Princeton in April 2019. The F3 Brother from Charlotte who led the workout that day shared the impact it had in his life in giving him clarity of mind, focus on direction, and help in his interpersonal relationships.

In each of the last four years I have had one word: 2019 – Integrity; 2020 – Fearless; 2021 – Hope; 2022 – Fortitude. In each year, my one word has challenged me to be a better person, to be a man of prayer and of action and to grow in resilience and durability. Little did I know on the choice of “Fearless” in January 2020, how I would be challenged every day to be “fearless” after the middle of March with the onset of the pandemic. My faith in God grew very much that year, as I sought to “live by faith, and not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7).

The process to discover your one word:

1. Prepare your heart. Take the time to shut down the media sources around you and disengage from them. Allow yourself time of quiet reflection: What do I need now? What is in the way? What needs to go?

2. Discover your word. Ask God for discernment of your word. In my case, it occurred to me at unlikely times, yet I sensed immediate confirmation. “That’s it. That’s my one word.” Sense the confirmation of the Holy Spirit within you with your one word. Be alert to be ready to recognize it and receive it.

3. Live your word. Live it out and be stretched by it as you live it out. You may easily see immediate opportunities to live out your one word (low-hanging fruit”) and difficult areas of application of it can come later. Own your word. Personalize it. Internalize it. Create visible reminders of it. Share your word with your “stretch team” (close family and friends), the persons who stretch you and can help you grow. Give them permission to check in with you on progress or challenges in living out your “one word.”

My One Word for 2023: PREPARE

As an older guy, I have been delaying taking actions to prepare for the future, and my dear and loving sister, Nancy, has gently prodding me to take these actions. (Last will and testament, the “everything notebook” of accounts and locations of important items, the preparation of my preferences for the memorial service, etc.) With the word “Prepare,” I want it to move me to take action.

At Trinity Church, we started this process as a church family in year 2020, but our efforts and attention to it withered out with pandemic that year.

Let’s try again…

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)