When I am feeling particularly self-righteous, my friend Dave asks me:
“Wesley, would you rather be right or would you rather be happy,” and I’m embarrassed to say that my initial response is usually “Yes.”
This past week, I posted something on social media that I was convinced was “right” (I am sure I am not alone in this). An acquaintance commented very strongly that they thought my post was inappropriate and offensive. And my first thought was “But I’m right.” People in 12 step recovery often talk about “restraint of pen and tongue,” and I might add, thumbs. Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? Does it need to be said by me?
The gift of social media, especially platforms like FaceBook and X, is that we have immediate and instant access to content and news that even 25 years could have taken weeks to trickle down to us. Actress Carrie Fisher once quipped, “The problem with instant gratification is that it takes too long.” We live in a world where everything can be at our fingertips at Amazon Prime speed. But what do we lose?
I am currently in discernment for priesthood in the Episcopal Church. It’s not a quick fix , fast-track, done deal. It’s a process. In fact, our recently consecrated Bishop ofNew Jersey, Bishop Sally French, has put the entire process on hold while she prayerfully and carefully reviews and considers the steps and procedures that lead to ordination. Now, as a newly minted seminary graduate and your newly employed Lay Pastoral Associate; and as someone who is closer to Baby Boomer than Millennial, I could be anxious and nervous about who what when where and how “my” time will come. Or, I could be appreciative of the opportunity God has given me to more deeply ponder and consider the vocation I truly believe I am called to. The choice is mine. Which choice will bring me more peace? And more importantly, which choice will make me a better priest?
Every day, we are given the choice between right and happy. And often we don’t even take a breath before we plunge into opinions and arguments that are out of our depth, or nastily debate issues that require far more context and nuance than can be reduced to a 280 character tweet. And I want to be clear that I am not at all saying that we don’t have the right to our beliefs and convictions. Many times we need to forcefully passionately take sides. But when we take the dive into the abyss of our surety, our chances of meaningful conversation and dialogue vanish. Alone in our “rightness.”
Proverbs 17:19 says, “Whoever loves a quarrel loves sin.” And Jesus said, “No one is good—except God alone.” (Luke 18:19).
Oh, and I deleted the post. And apologized. To God be the Glory.
